poss intro - RE-EDITED

so as you can see there's three of us standing here. Tom asked each of us to be best man and we went along with it

I didn't tell Tom that it's generally accepted that you don't use 'best' when describing more than one thing and that the plural of 'man' is not 'man'. Getting through 36 years of life as the son of an English teacher so blissfully ignorant of elementary grammar shows the sort of commitment that it's probably best not to question.

Of course Tom isn't known for being overly concerned with practical matters. About the kindest thing you could say about Tom's organisational skills is that he shows a healthy disinterest in trivia, complicated by an usually inclusive definition of what constitutes trivia.
 From his comprehensive catalogue of adult mishaps, we can infer that for Tom, 'trivia' includes his wallet and keys, his passport and phone; plans he's made, local laws, national laws, his own health, the roadworthiness of any vehicle he's in, and whether he can get to the nearest toilet in time to avoid having an accident of the pooey kind in the supermarket.

And so to all of you who helped make today happen, I want to say 'thank you' on Tom's behalf (will flesh this out).   I wasn't here for the preparations, but I know that today really would have been impossible without you. People use that phrase a lot but rarely is it so apt as when witnessing the miracle of Tom, in the right place at the right time, fully and correctly dressed, with clean underwear. So X, Y and Z for your contributions to today, I want to say a heartfelt 'thank you' on behalf of the groom. He will never be able to repay you for what you've all done. I mean that both metaphorically with reference to the intensity of his gratitude, and literally, because the chance of you ever meeting him and his wallet in the same place is effectively zero.

testing

okay gents so this is it. i guess you should try to read and then reply to this maybe before any of us post anything that could be wasted.

so…. have at it…